I once tried to hone a toothbrush into a shank to be proud of, but I figured I was getting ahead of myself. And indeed, I have never eaten prison food.

I do have this morbid fascination with prisons, though. What do all those hardened convicts get up to? Really get up to, I mean. Aside from needlepoint, gang rape and garrotting. Dear, I hope I’m not being stereotypical. (Actually, being South African, I think I’m painting a picture of flowers and possibly a bunny that is mauve of hue.)

I have always appreciated the educational potential of games while also thoroughly ignoring it in practice, but now that Introversion has broken out the news of Prison Architect – I take a moment here to bow to Rock Paper Shotgun – I am feverish with hope.

I’ve always wanted to build my own maximum security prison! Being a realist, I’ve naturally been afraid to take that first step; I didn’t qualify for imprisonation school, and indie imprisoning is frowned upon by many.

Those devious Introverts have me by the lapels, oh don’t they just.

The lock-’em-up appears to have just the right kind of shenanigan graphics for squeamish closet pixel sadists like me, too. I can only hope they put out a boxed edition complete with memorable memorabilia. It wouldn’t be hard. A razor blade and a ballpoint pen would do fine.

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